Hanz is a boss enemy from Stage 1 and a normal enemy from Stage 7 .


In stage 1, Hanz is the pilot of the alien mine crawler destroying Edmonton. Based on his inhuman grunts, he cannot speak English like Schwang Schwing or Zizzy Ballooba. He has a frog-like appearance and is rather immense in stature, standing at just over double Kurt's height (although still miniscule compared to many of the other bosses and Schwang himself). He wears a battlesuit, complete with a very large gun. When Kurt arrives to Hanz's location, Hanz taunts Kurt and shakes his fist, then proceeds to pilot a large stationary laser battery. Using this weapon, he attempts to fry Kurt with the lasers, however Kurt proves too smart for him, and Kurt manages to hit the Sniper Locks on the exterior of the battery, bursting it open. After firing three rounds at Hans, he decides to take matters into close combat and attempts to take Kurt by hand. Despite his immense size and huge gun, he is defeated by Kurt. After defeat, Hanz waves his hands (as if asking "Don't Shoot") and then is hit in the chest and blown onto his back by an explosion, killing him.

In stage 7, three Hanz enemies appear. Due to the environment, it is much harder for Hanz to hit Kurt. In this fight, Hanz has also lost his ground shake ability but have otherwise retained all other abilities.


When Kurt arrives at the battle arena, it's important to note that the field is essentially segmented into two parts. The upper part contains two hams, whereas the lower part contains no items and a never-ending set of Bottrocks aliens spawning endlessly. The Bottrocks spawns can be stopped by shooting the lock ball on the platforms that spawn them, however they are such quick targets and essentially unnecessary to shoot that it isn't worth it. The Bottrocks will only ever have 2 on the field at any given time, and will not go to the upper part of the platform. Thus, it is recommended to stand at the top at all times.
Laser Battery

Phase 1Edit

Part 1Edit

When the battle starts, Kurt should get into Sniper mode to prepare for the firepower from the Laser Battery. The Laser Battery will start with four sets of spinning laser nodes, each of which will fire 1 laser that will hit exactly where Kurt was standing when the laser was fired. As such, Kurt can dodge all of the laser fire as long as he never stops moving. To finish the first phase, the 4 Sniper Locks on the Laser Battery must be shot. They will appear locked at first, and will become open the second the Laser Battery fires its first round. After this, Kurt must shoot all four of the lock balls with any sniper bullet. Activate the Sniper Scope and begin strafing. Remember you cannot move forward and back in Sniper mode, but you can strafe, and as long as you remember where the wall is while strafing, you can keep from getting hit by the lasers altogether. After that, it's a simple situation of aim and shoot.

Part 2Edit

Hanz will reset the Laser battery, but also activate the next four sets of lasers. There is one more lock ball in the center that opens after the Laser Battery begins firing, but otherwise this is the exact same as part 1.

Part 3Edit

With the cockpit now open, shoot Hanz with three shots. All ammo will do the same damage, all that matters is he is hit by three shots, so it isn't worth wasting a Sniper Grenade you intend to use on him once he becomes vulnerable. Continue strafing as the Laser Battery will not cease firing at you.

Phase 2Edit

Having had enough, Hanz will jump down and challenge you directly. This phase is far more dangerous than the first, and Hanz himself is incredibly powerful. It is best to stand on the upper platform and not deal with the Bottrocks at all, but if you removed the spawning platforms and killed the Bottrocks already present, it can be used without worry. Hanz has two attacks, his gun and a ground smash. The gun is his default attack which he will use frequently. He leads his shots, so running without jumping or changing direction will likely mean you will be hit directly. Since he accounts for your movements, constantly jumping can hamper his aim and save your health. The second attack, the ground smash, is his most lethal attack, and one of the most powerful boss attacks in the game. On higher difficulties, this can take off almost 60 health in a single blow, thus it is imperative that you dodge by simply jumping and not being on the ground when the smash happens.

As long as Kurt saved a Dummy Decoy, this would be the best time to deploy it, effectively distracting him and allowing Kurt a lot of free shots. While Kurt still must avoid the ground smash, using the Dummy Decoy will protect Kurt from gun fire for a short bit. Pay careful attentiont to the decoy, however, as the second it breaks Hanz will return his attention back to Kurt.


Hanz struck with the final blow

In addition to the Dummy Decoy, this is a prime time to equip any Super Chainguns that you have. Using the Sniper Scope is not optimal unless he is distracted, however the Super Chainguns help deal lots of damage without as much risk. On easy and Normal, Hanz should fall before you drain 1000 bullets, however on Hard and Jinkies, Hanz will still have health remaning after using them.

The best strategy is to continue constantly jumping and strafing around him in a circle while never ceasing fire from the chaingun.


  • Hanz's name seems to just be a pun on the fact that he has very large hands
  • Hanz is both the first boss Kurt faces, and the first boss of the game
  • Hanz is the only boss to make a reapparance as a standard enemy
  • Hanz is the only boss that is susceptible to the Dummy Decoy, and will actively fire at it. He is, however, still immune to the damage of the Black Hole Grenade and the effect of the Cloaking Device
  • Hanz may occasionally give Kurt the middle finger